okay so i was talking to a friend of mine today and i have made a descision which i have said i will follow through with only like a gazillion times before. but this time i actually think i can do it. i hope. because the past is well the past u can't do anything about it. but the future. now thats pretty sweet. its full of endless possibilities. and things happen when you least expect it. so maybe if i stop looking for something to replace whats gone and just move on then something amazing will just come along and BOOM happen. so for a while i think its best if i just trust in God that whatever is happening He'll just deal with it and that i won't have to worry so much and work so hard to make sure everything's gonna be alright, and concentrate a bit more on myself, ya and basically stop stressing myself out trying to help everyone else. i think that's what i will do. yes i will. mhm. i will indeed. wish me luck cuz im definitely going to need it.
i think one of the reasons its so hard for people with addictions to stop something is because its what they're used to, u know? like they've kinda forgotten that there are other options and better ways to deal with things, because really what they're doing is hurting themselves, because they are so deep in it that they can't escape and they don't want to even because its like an escape. A distraction so they don't have to think about themselves. and i don't want to say i do that but i guess sometimes i do. i distract myself with something else because its easier to help someone else often times than to help yourself.
so im going to try this now. and im hoping it will work. ~Bye~
